But on to other subjects! It's really cold where I live (colder than it has been in seventeen years), so I've been staying inside a lot. I have re-read every book I own at least three times, and it only took me two hours to read Reached (am I behind on reading this series, and if you've read it, what did you think?) so for lack of other options, I turned to my old work.
*Blech*
That's just the sound of me gagging over here.
I started my first book when I was eight or so. It was about a girl who accidentally charmed herself into a magical world while trying to make a face mask. That book didn't even see the light of a second chapter. Poor girl. She's still standing in the middle of a clearing with sparkling dust falling all around her.
I think that's where she's gonna stay, though.
My next attempt at a novel was a National Treasure escapade, but with kids. It was a middle grade, and was a whole lot more fleshed out than my first try. I never finished it, and, maybe I'm biased, but, I still think it could work. It was slightly better than my first attempt, but still had a lot of problems. Big problems. Like, listing what all eight people ordered at a restaurant, sagging dialogue, and starting with a phone ringing. I did, however, actually know how it was going to end. Which is a lot better than some of my more recent endeavors.
My next book was a knockoff of Amelia's Notebook. However, there was two things different from it and the other ones.
I finished it.
And I let people read it.
Letting people read it was probably a mistake, looking back on it. I was so proud, though. And I got nothing but praise, which I'm not sure was a good or bad thing. But, nevertheless, it was still not very good. And it took me almost two years to finish it.
That may not sound too bad, but it only took up half of a one-subject notebook. Not even a real novel.
And two years to write a not-even-thirty-thousand-word-book? That shouldn't happen. Ever.
It was a cute idea, and as I'm reading it now, it's not completely terrible, and actually pretty good for a first book. But it's nowhere near publishable.
And, in the first five pages, I found more than enough fodder for one blog post. So this may become a series.
The first thing I noticed was that some of my sentences didn't sound right. They were awkward, and altogether gross. No one wants to read a book full of sentences like:
We live on the tenth floor, just like my age.
(Subtle way of getting in her age, Olivia! Way to go!)
He is a very a nice man, but I'm afraid he has rather a crush on Eloise.
(Rather a crush? Who says that? And if anyone does say that, it's definitely not a ten year old girl from Atlanta! And, yes, the MC lived in Atlanta.)
But I think that it's a hideout for a bank robber that can't figure out his codes because he's not good at math so he started this school to get the answers and that's what our Math questions are.
(Um...hello run-on sentence! And, also, if you couldn't tell, my MC was a bit of a drama queen. But the real question is, could middle-school children really be breaking bank security codes? I don't think so. So many problems, so little time...)
The basis of how to put together a sentence can best be learned by reading. Then writing. Then trashing what you've written and reading some more.
Then you can write more. And throw that away, too.
There are many opinions out there on how to write a good book. Some people say write what you know, others say write what you don't. Anne Lamott says write about your childhood. But the one thing people can agree on is the best way to get better at writing, is to write.
That's it.
And that's the best advice you're ever going to hear.
There's no secret formula for cranking out a bestseller, no way to write a book everyone will love.
There's only writing. And more writing. And more writing. And- you get the point.
But, if you do really need help with getting your sentences to flow, there are several books you can use. The Chicago Manual of Style, and The Elements of Style by William Strunk, Jr. and E.B. White are two of the most famous ones.
And, let me say it again, read. Pick up some books that are on the best-seller list and read them. Get some books from the genre you want to write. Your old favorite books. Study them. You can learn more by taking apart a paragraph from a book than reading a whole book written on writing a book. Wow, that was a confusing sentence.
But you know what I mean.
Another major problem with my book (we'll call it A Series of Unfortunate Paragraphs from here on out. Or, Unfortunate Paragraphs for short) was the characters.
They were all cookie-cutter. Every. Single. One. Of. Them.
There was a little rich girl whose poor mother had died, and whose father was away on business most of the time. But of course, she wasn't spoiled, she was sweeter than a chocolate chip cookie! All the time! She never sniped or laughed in a really annoying way or got upset because her best friend had siblings and she didn't! She was perfect.
The MC and her brother fought one time in the entire book. That's definitely not normal.
Here's the thing about characters. You can have the most amazing plot in the world, but if your characters aren't likable, no one's going to read it.
Except maybe your mom.
Almost everything in a book is important, but your characters are really important.
You want people to remember them, to want to go on more adventures with them, to keep on riding around in their head.
J.K. Rowling did a great job of creating a huge cast of characters that were all memorable. I never once got one of her characters mixed up with another one.
So take your time with your characters. You're going to be spending a lot of time with them, and hopefully so will a lot of other people.
Really think about them. Think about what makes them tick, what they hate about their mother, and what's the one thing they would save if their house was on fire. Or do they even live in a house? They might live on a boat or in a treehouse. Maybe they're not even human! They could live in a hole in the ground!
Just think about your characters. Don't make them boring. Make them memorable.
Another huge problem with Unfortunate Paragraphs was the beginning. It stank.
The first sentence was,
"I do not know how to begin this."
Obviously I didn't know how to begin it. Granted, it was a book written as a girl's private journal, and those are always a bit tricky to start. You can't just start out with a slam-bang first sentence that immediately draws readers in. No one's first entry in a journal is something like, "There was once a boy named Eustance Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it."
But something other than, "I don't know how to begin this", would be preferable.
This was a bit of a long post, so, if you stuck with it 'til the end, thanks! Be on the lookout for a part two of this post next week, because I still have a ton of things I want to talk about. And I haven't even gotten to page six of Unfortunate Paragraphs yet!
Have you re-read any of your old writing recently? If so, do you look back and cringe over anything? Have any cookie-cutter characters? I'd love to hear about your Unfortunate Paragraphs!
*I want to say, if you have a character that is a spoiled but sweet rich girl, please do not take offense. I am tearing apart my own writing only in hopes of helping other people learn. If you have a rich character and love her, then by all means, love her! Your writing style is yours, and mine is mine. The same goes for any sentences I mentioned. If by some weird coincidence, your first line is, "I do not know how to begin this", good for you! I hope it brings you many awards. It just didn't work for me.
